[Event Post]

[soundofthestorm]

::Onni, you find yourself at Auld Lang Syne, a hostess club across the street from Labirinto, the curio store run by Darklord Morningstar, better known to everyone as "Owner".

There you find Hayate in his usual duster jacket and bird mask, escorting a cute Japanese-Russian looking woman.::

We really need to have a discussion about this, Homura. Especially since you came back from your extended trip in Hawaii.

Comments

[auldlangsynemorrow]

I'm not known for my sense of humor, though I'm told my limericks are very good, especially about Nantucket.

[becomeanwarrior]

[ There is a gurgling groan. ]

I would really prefer my wife not be an anime poster, so...

...Just tell your girls there's a limit to what we can side-eye. If they blow up a city block I kind of have to investigate in order to, y'know, keep my job.

I'll bend the rules, but I won't break them.

[auldlangsynemorrow]

::Pout with a finger to her lip.::

[becomeanwarrior]

[ How dare my niece try and play cute with me. ]

No, not even for my darling niece. Your girls can come explain their behavior to me and I will assume things happened for entirely explainable reasons, but blowing up city blocks is bad.

[auldlangsynemorrow]

I'll try. But. Can you two go?

Homura's clothes hurt to wear and I want to get things in order for her.

[becomeanwarrior]

Absolutely understandable.

[ He's shifting his grip to a headlock, tugging towards the door. ]

Come on, Hayate. You heard her. Time to go.

[auldlangsynemorrow]

Thank you.

[soundofthestorm]

Mrgh!

::Kicking and flailing but she's a much softer girl than you, Onni.

And you should probably grill me.::

[becomeanwarrior]

[ Yes. I'm forcibly dragging you out of Auld Lang Syne and probably finding somewhere appropriately isolated before I let you go slightly. ]

So. Hayate.

You wanna explain what's going on with you?

[soundofthestorm]

::Gets her mask back on.::

I don't know what you mean.

[becomeanwarrior]

Are you really doing this right now.

Are you really that scared of telling me. Me.

Do you even understand the weirdness I am used to, Hayate.

[soundofthestorm]

Be more specific with your questions.

And maybe I'm scared of being put in a jam jar.

[becomeanwarrior]

Why are you a crime-fighting witch.

And why do you think I'll put you in a jam jar.

[soundofthestorm]

Whatever Hibiki did.

And because, Katie seems like she has a trigger finger, you've got those Dimension Cells and I can't help but get the feeling one day we'll both wake up and it'll be Commissioner Katie we're both dealing with, and you're the Coffee Boy.

[becomeanwarrior]

...Oh, Hibiki tried to turn into an Illusion Witch? Okay, that makes sense. Why didn't you just say that.

And nah, she'd never do that. She likes collecting a steady and uncomplicated paycheck more than she'd enjoy being a power-hungry tyrant. The D.D. Cells are for the Otherworlders and other shit that's impossible to contain under normal circumstances.

[soundofthestorm]

Because in my line of work, paranoia goes a LONG way to keeping you alive. And something impossible to contain like a witch that can bend the world with her fist strikes?

[becomeanwarrior]

And I appreciate your paranoia, but maybe, just maybe, you can share weird things that have happened to you with the guy who has literally spent his whole career soaking in weird.

And. Okay. Fair point. But point being how many times have you seen me had to use those cells.

[soundofthestorm]

Again, line of work breeds paranoia. Trust no-one, even your allies. Especially if something strange has happened. And there's always The Men in Black.

[becomeanwarrior]

Hayate, I hate to bring your worldview into sharp realization but uh.

We are the Men in Black. That couldn't be more our mission statement.

[soundofthestorm]

The ACTUAL Men in Black.

[becomeanwarrior]

That's still us.

Like we are literally endorsed by my cousin's governmental regime as the gold standard of law enforcement, and we are about making sure we bring peace and stability and normalcy to an increasingly un-normal country.

Our staff is largely comprised of ex-law enforcement, private military contractors, and corporate black-ops, with a smattering of weird one-off vigilantes who are better working for us than anyone else.

We have an entire wing of Sector Security just about things normal people are not allowed to know to avoid mass hysteria and riots.

...I can get us the suits if you think it'll help sell the image.

[soundofthestorm]

Yeah I'm not talking about you or me, I'm talking about THEM.

A beyond-national organization that operates under no government and works for the Illuminati.

[becomeanwarrior]

Well. I don't think the Illuminati is actually real but rest assured if they are you're in the position to be the first person to know about it.

Either way - this whole thing about Hibiki trying to make you an Illusion Witch - any side effects, aside from, y'know, the obvious?

[soundofthestorm]

Kungfu based magic but I don't know much about it and no interest exploring it. Also, I keep feeling everything chaffs and I keep whining.

[becomeanwarrior]

Yeah those last two are expected, actually. And really? No interest in kung-fu based magic?